Life of Dreams
by KNO
Summary: One-shot. Sometimes the dreams we cling to the most hurt us the deepest.


_**x Life of Dreams x**_

* * *

There is a flurry of activity at the corner of her eye. She turns her head sharply and winces, a pain pulling at an overextended muscle in her neck.

It happens as if in slow motion.

Neji seems to be flying in the air somehow, his dark hair twisting in the wind. And then, suddenly, he is falling, wood winding around and _through_ his body.

Tenten feels her heart clench in her chest, and she takes an involuntary step forward.

The images in front of her blur together—Naruto cradling Neji before laying him on the ground; Lee letting out an anguished cry beside her, running to Neji's side; her cautious approach, stomach dropping at the amount of blood spilled out on the dirt.

 _It can't be._

She looks at her teammate's forehead, unnaturally bare for all to see. How he hated showing his curse mark—and now, his skin was unadorned. Tenten's heart pangs painfully against her ribs as realization surges into her brain.

 _No. It's not . . . possible._

* * *

Tenten stirs from her sleep, breathless. Her heart is hammering in her chest. Tenten attempts to swallow past the lump in her throat, but her mouth is dry. She turns to look at the clock on her nightstand. _4:37 AM_ blares back at her in red.

Tenten sits up and draws her knees to her chest, rubbing her eyes. She presses her hands to her face, inhaling deeply through her nose. She gives herself five minutes to shake the dream off, then gets out of bed, beginning to dress for a morning of training.

When she arrives at the training grounds, Neji is already there. He's sitting against his normal tree, meditating. At her arrival, an eye cracks open.

"You're late," he says. "Again."

Tenten sighs and unhooks her scroll from her waist, setting it carefully on a tree stump. "I'm sorry," she mutters. "Had another nightmare."

Both of Neji's eyes open at this, studying her, though he doesn't comment.

It's been almost a year since the war ended, and still Tenten is plagued by nightmares. She's only mentioned the content of these dreams to Neji once; her face starts to grow red as she recalls that conversation.

"Come meditate," Neji says after a moment.

Tenten walks over to him and sits down grumpily. It is almost dawn. Tenten can see the edges of the sky lightening slowly from black to midnight blue to deep purple.

"Calm your mind," Neji instructs.

Obligingly, Tenten shuts her eyes and focuses on breathing evenly.

Neji had roped her into studying meditation soon after the war had concluded, a week after she'd spoken of her nightmares, citing its benefits for battle, as well as bringing mental equanimity. It wasn't something Tenten excelled at—it was clear that out of the three teammates, Neji clearly bested them at self-control.

And the war had clearly revealed Tenten's lack of control—painfully evident in how she'd almost killed herself handling the Bashosen.

"Stop thinking," Neji says suddenly, interrupting her train of thought. "Empty your mind of all thoughts."

Tenten cracks her eyes open. Neji's face is relaxed, his chest rising and falling evenly. Tenten feels a note of jealousy as she studies him—it seems he's become even more perfect, if that were even possible.

He was injured in the war—then again, who wasn't? But it had taken a while for him to recover, slowing the pace of their training. Since their return to Konoha, their goal had shifted to developing their individual strengths and improving on newly realized weak spots.

Quick like lightning, Tenten jolts back, avoiding Neji's fist by a hair's breadth.

He regards her, annoyance furrowing his eyebrows.

"You're very distracted today," he says.

Tenten sighs and stands to her feet.

"Sorry," she calls over her shoulder. "I'm too sleepy to meditate. You finish—I'll stretch instead."

Neji shuts his eyes again, and Tenten walks across the clearing, doing a few backflips to loosen her limbs. She sits on the ground, holding onto the soles of her feet for a minute as she breathes out. She goes through her stretch routine in silence, watching the sky as it moves slowly into a subdued early-morning grey.

She stretches her arms up, her hands laced above her head, her back arching. Tenten lets out a self-satisfied hum.

"Ready?" Neji asks.

Tenten glances at him. He is leaning against his meditation tree, watching her carefully.

She nods, and then they are rushing towards each other.

The first hit lands on her shoulder, stinging; he has struck her with an open hand rather than his fist. Tenten grits her teeth and snatches his wrist before Neji can pull back, thrusting his palm back. Neji winces and twists his leg around her calf, pressuring her to kneel.

Tenten cedes to it, letting Neji pin her beneath him, but then they are wrestling in the grass.

Tenten punches him in the gut, and Neji breathes out, though Tenten knows she hasn't hurt him that badly—his abs rival Lee's on a good day. Neji retaliates, seizing her around the neck, attempting to immobilize her legs. He doesn't succeed. Tenten squirms out of reach and is on her feet again in seconds, her stance guarded.

Neji rises, a small, familiar smirk playing across his mouth. He takes a step towards her, but Tenten jumps to the treetops. Neji attempts to seize her heel but is unsuccessful; Tenten feels his fingertips graze the sole of her shoe.

She peers over her shoulder after she's a few yards above the ground. Neji is frowning at her from below.

"I'm not interested in playing cat and mouse, Tenten," he calls up to her.

Tenten smiles to herself as she flits from branch to branch. "What's interesting is that you see yourself as the cat in this situation," she replies.

Tenten perches on a branch, and places her hand on the trunk, activating a seal she'd placed there long ago. A sharp metal click rings out through the air, and then Tenten is watching Neji run carefully across the ground, avoiding the exploding plates she'd just triggered.

She grins at the slight smile on his face as he races through her trap.

* * *

Hours later, when it is midday and they are bone-tired, they rest lazily in the shade, sweat beaded on their faces.

"I should be getting home. Hanabi has been very persistent in developing the Gentle Fist," Neji says, getting to his feet.

Tenten twirls a shuriken between her fingers. "I think you have a masochistic tendency."

Neji glances down at her, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Says the woman who sleeps with an axe under her pillow, and frequently booby traps her apartment."

Tenten joins him, and they begin walking out of the clearing. "Seriously," continues Tenten, "you push yourself too hard sometimes. It's not like you're invincible."

"I'm honored you care about my wellbeing."

Tenten blushes a little. "It wasn't so long ago you could barely walk," Tenten reminds.

"I think I've found the source of your nightmares," he says suddenly.

Tenten turns to him, forehead wrinkled in bemusement. They've reached the main road, where they will go their separate ways.

"You're afraid to lose me," he murmurs softly, expression softening. Neji reaches out and plucks the shuriken from her hand, examining it in his open palm.

Tenten purses her lips, embarrassed of the flush rising on her neck.

Neji lets out a short laugh, and gazes at her warmly. "The war is over, Tenten."

"I know," she responds in a small voice.

Neji smirks, and takes her hand, placing the ninja tool back in her possession. He turns to leave, calling over his shoulder, "Don't worry. I won't leave you to deal with Lee and Guy by yourself. Stop dreaming about me."

Tenten's face reddens. "You better not!" she shouts after him. Neji lifts a hand in acknowledgement, but disappears a moment later, meeting the bend in the road.

* * *

A few weeks later, Tenten goes to visit Guy.

The transition has been difficult for him, adjusting to the wheelchair. For a while, Guy had tried to push himself back to full mobility, but it had only ended in disaster. But now, it seemed, he had resigned himself to it—albeit in his natural enthusiastic fashion.

Tenten enters her teacher's small apartment and calls out a greeting. Seconds later, as Tenten is still removing her shoes at the entryway, Guy whizzes into view, grinning.

"Tenten, my youthful lotus! What brings you here?"

Tenten smiles at her teacher and makes her way to his kitchen, reaching for his tea kettle.

"Just thought I would drop in to check on you." She fills the kettle with water and switches on the stove.

"How have you been spending your time, my flower?"

"Just training, mostly—not that anyone's going on missions right now. But I wanted to . . . ask you something."

Guy raises his bushy eyebrows and smiles encouragingly.

Tenten takes a breath. "I think I want to open a shop. A weapons shop. With the borders more open among the different ninja villages, I was thinking I could travel more, see what each region has to offer."

Guy's smile grows bigger, and he leans forward in his wheelchair in his excitement.

Tenten says, her fingers fidgeting, "I've looked at a place in the shopping district. It's small, but spacious enough for what I'd want to do with it. The thing is—I don't have quite enough to purchase it outright."

The kettle whistles behind her, and Tenten turns to fix their tea.

"Are you asking for help, dearest Tenten?"

Tenten waits until she sets down their tea on Guy's dining room table to meet her teacher's eyes. "It would be a loan, I promise. I would pay you back—with interest, even, if you want! I just want to feel like . . . like I'm doing something worthwhile for once."

Guy sips his tea and considers her, his expression softening. "Tenten, you've always made me proud. You're nothing like Lee or Neji."

Tenten runs a finger around the rim of her chipped mug. She makes a face. "I want to do something that's just mine. Everyone knows me as the weapons mistress, but I'm more than just that."

"I completely agree, Tenten. There is no better way to grow in youthfulness than to start new adventures." There is a twinkle in her sensei's eyes. "I'd love to help you embark on this new journey!"

"I'm serious, Guy-sensei. I'm going to pay you back."

Guy sits back in his wheelchair, and smiles happily, tears brimming in his eyes.

"Don't cry," Tenten warns, jumping up from her spot to grab the kettle. "The deal is off if you cry!"

* * *

Later, she walks home. It is twilight, and Tenten breathes in deeply, feeling elated. Guy had said yes; she was going to own a store! She was going to travel!

Tenten smiles to herself. As she walks up her to her apartment, her smile widens at the sight of a familiar face. "To what do I owe this surprise?"

Neji rolls his eyes, but steps aside for Tenten to unlock the door. "I can't visit a fellow teammate without having a reason?"

Tenten raises her eyebrows at him but doesn't respond. He's been doing this for the better part of six months—just showing up at her apartment door. After the war he had stayed away, getting his strength back, and Tenten had been careful to not go looking for him, especially at the Hyuga complex. And then one day, he had just appeared at their training grounds, waiting for her.

"All I have is cup ramen," Tenten cautions as they enter, closing the door behind them.

"I'm not hungry," Neji says. He walks over to her small, cramped living room. He sits down with his back to her couch.

It has somehow become their routine: Tenten cooks dinner; Neji shows up and sits on the floor against her couch; they spend the evening in comfortable silence until Neji leaves. But tonight, Tenten can feel her excitement at the prospect of buying the store bubbling at her mouth, ready to spill out.

She waits until her ramen is ready, then sits across from Neji, leaning her elbows on the coffee table between them. "Guess what?"

Neji inclines his head in interest, his eyes unusually mischievous.

"I'm buying a store," Tenten says, barely above a whisper. Her pulse quickens as she says the words aloud, speaking it into existence.

"You're what?"

"I'm buying a store," Tenten repeats, louder this time, her eagerness leaking out into a big grin. "I asked Guy-sensei today to help me purchase this small place in the shopping district. It's only a few places down from where the Yamanaka's flower shop used to be."

"What are you planning to do with the shop?"

"I'm going to sell weapons. I've been thinking a lot about traveling, since the villages are more united now than ever. And ever since I handled the Treasured Tools, I realized there's so much weaponry out there that I haven't mastered, or even encountered, yet—and I want to."

Neji considers her, his fingers tapping his knees. "Where are you planning to travel?"

Tenten shrugs. "Everywhere, but specifically all of the ninja villages."

"When will you leave?" he asks, his forehead creasing.

Tenten reaches for her cup ramen, swirling the contents with her chopsticks. "I'm not sure. I haven't even asked Hokage-sama yet. But soon, I think."

Neji watches her as she slurps her noodles.

"What?" Tenten asks after a moment.

Neji smiles wryly, as if something has displeased him. "I can't shake the feeling you're leaving me behind," he says finally, breaking their gaze.

Tenten's eyes widen. She lets out a short laugh. "Are you kidding? You and Lee have been surpassing me for years. Aren't I owed a little adventure?"

"Of course you are. I just meant—" Neji stops, his forehead wrinkling as he tries to find the words to say.

"What?" presses Tenten, setting her food aside.

Neji sighs and meets her eyes. "I meant that it won't be the same, with you gone."

Tenten grins wickedly. "Are you saying you're going to miss me for once?"

Neji shakes his head slightly, leaning back against the couch. "You're impossible."

Tenten studies him for a moment, weighing her thoughts. "You could come with me."

Neji says nothing, gazing at her steadily.

Tenten bites her bottom lip and squirms a little under his scrutiny. She gets to her feet and takes the cup ramen to the kitchen, intending to make tea. She wants to hide a blush that's rising to her cheeks.

She's felt it for a long time now, and as self-controlled as she was, Tenten knew she was pushing her limit in not letting it spill out. How could she let a confession taint their friendship? She wonders, absently, if she can take back her invitation.

She senses Neji in the doorway to the kitchen. Without turning to look at him, she says, "Jasmine tea, right?"

"Tenten."

Tenten looks over at him. Neji is leaning against the doorframe, expression watchful. "Are you seriously asking me?"

Tenten winces, embarrassed. A moment later, she laughs nervously, "I was just being courteous. Don't take it so seriously. I know your family likes to have you close. Besides—maybe you will learn to miss me a little."

"No, you don't understand. I want to go with you."

Tenten's forehead wrinkles as she turns to glance at him. "You can't go with me. You have to stay here," she says, surprised.

Neji raises an eyebrow, amused. "Why? I can't have an adventure too?"

Tenten places her hands on her hips, brow furrowing. "What are you talking about?"

"You asked me to come with you. And I'm saying yes."

Tenten purses her lips.

Neji laughs, taking a step closer to her. "What is it? Are you upset because now you can't take it back without being rude?"

Tenten shrugs. "I don't mind being rude," she says offhandedly, turning back to fixing their tea.

Neji's hand reaches out and touches her shoulder. She's embarrassed that her skin erupts immediately in goosebumps. Neji notices and smirks down at her.

"Isn't it a little late?" Tenten says suddenly, moving past him to go to the front door. "You should get going."

"I don't get to enjoy my tea?" Neji asks, looking into the hall after her.

Tenten doesn't answer, holding the door open for him. His smirk deepens, and he shrugs, brushing past her.

"Have a good night," Tenten mutters, beginning to close the door.

"Tenten."

She sighs and pauses, poking her head out.

Unexpectedly, his mouth is on hers and Tenten can't even name all the sensations she experiences. Her skin flushes, and her head is light, skin prickling anew. His lips are warm and fresh, and Tenten wonders to herself how long she'd resisted pinning him to a tree.

And then it's over. Neji leaves her doorstep and walks down the stairs, murmuring a good night over his shoulder.

Tenten stands stunned, watching him go, pressing her fingers to her mouth. She grins.

* * *

The next day, Tenten is jubilant.

The Hokage had said yes—she could leave on her journey as soon as she packed. She could hardly believe her good fortune over the past few days.

She walks toward the Hyuga compound, wanting to share her elation with Neji as soon as possible to discuss their departure.

Her face warms as she thinks of their kiss from the previous night. She doesn't know what it means, but she's more than willing to find out on the months-long journey they have ahead of them.

She is lost in thought, within sight of the Hyuga entrance, before she notices Hinata coming towards her, a bouquet of flowers in her arms.

The younger girl brightens at the sight of her. "Tenten!" Hinata says in surprise. "Hello!"

Tenten smiles and waves. Hinata walks over to her, eyes kind. "I was just going to see Neji-niisan. Would you like to join me?"

Tenten nods, happy to be saved from searching the Hyuga compound for her teammate.

"How have you been Hinata?" Tenten asks companionably.

"I've been well. It's been hard to adjust after the war, but I think things are finally settling."

Tenten hums in agreement.

"How about you, Tenten-san? It's been a long time since I've seen you." Hinata glances at Tenten, her pale eyes searching.

Tenten shrugs. "Fine. I've been training. I'm leaving on a trip soon. The Hokage gave me permission this morning."

Hinata expresses her interest, and Tenten chatters on about her plans, but refrains from mentioning Neji, wanting to keep it to herself until after she'd spoken to him.

Tenten lets Hinata direct them, their conversation easy.

When they arrive at the cemetery, on the outskirts of town, Tenten shoots Hinata a quizzical look. "I thought you said you were going to see Neji?" Tenten asks.

Hinata tilts her head, confused. "Yes," she says slowly, passing the cemetery gate.

Tenten doesn't say anything but follows Hinata inside. Hinata walks to a certain headstone and kneels, laying her bouquet in her lap.

Tenten stares at the shining stone, struggling to comprehend. "Hinata—I don't understand. Why does this stone have Neji's name on it?"

Hinata glances up at her, eyes widening. "Tenten," she begins in a shaking voice, "Neji—he died. Almost a year ago."

Tenten shakes her head. "No, he didn't. I just saw him last night. We've been training together for months now."

Shock rolls across Hinata's porcelain face, then pity. She shifts her eyes downward, her features dampening with sadness.

"Tenten. . . Neji died saving me—saving Naruto during the war. He died on the battlefield."

The nightmare comes back in a rush. Tenten crumples to her knees.

Far away, she can hear Hinata saying, "We all wondered why you didn't attend the funeral. Lee said you were grieving in your own way."

It seems to hit her all at once, faster than Neji sealing all her chakra points, vicious as the sting of a metal blade across her face.

It was a dream. It was a dream the whole time.

Tears flow down her cheeks, a gut-wrenching groan emitting from her throat. She can't breathe. She feels Hinata's arms tentatively surround her; she is making small comforting noises, patting her shoulder.

"Tenten, I know," the girl whispers in her ear.

Red-eyed and tear-stained, Tenten glances up, past Hinata's hair, to stare at her teammate. Next to the headstone, Neji gives her a small, sad smile and fades from sight.

* * *

 _ **I thought this would be an interesting take on the "Neji didn't die" theme. Let me know what you thought!**_


End file.
